I Got into Warwick... Again

Fine, I didn't exactly "get" into Warwick.

I just placed the university as my first choice for exchange and I managed to get it! I must say I'm extremely grateful for the spot, because there was only one slot for Warwick for sem 2 and my roomie's sister Christine was vying for the same spot. NTU assigns students to exchange places based on GPA, and based on that criteria I knew my odds were close to nada. Nonetheless I listed it down as my first choice and said a little prayer, telling myself to give thanks no matter the outcome. Guess who freaked when she received an email from school with the good news? I guess some miracle happened and they opened up more slots for sem 2 or there was a leftover slot from sem 1 that went to me!

I guess this is so exciting because going to Warwick for exchange will allow me to explore the life I could have had if I'd accepted the offer instead of NTU's. I'd really be getting the best of both worlds and exploring the what-ifs without having letting go of whatever I'd chosen in the first place. Besides, I told myself I'd be back for the UK after visiting London last year. My plan was always to go to Seoul for exchange, but UK won in terms of practicality when I looked at how many english mods I could clear. Don't worry South Korea, you will always have a special place in my heart.

Laughing at ourselves for thinking we'd be getting enough sleep this sem 

On dance

Updating this space regularly has been particularly difficult as of late, school has swept me up in a whirlwind and I'm in the midst of preparing for a dance competition. Practices have been intense (5 hours a night, mon to fri) and they'll only get tougher in the weeks to come. Charlene even asked, "You performing for the president or what?" I told her that even performing for the president wouldn't have required so much effort LOL.

Talking to my juniors last week helped remind me of why I dance. I can't begin to tell you how many times friends and family have tried to coax me into quitting throughout my 14 years of dancing.Yet time and again I'm reminded why this is my first love and I'll never give it up. Dancing isn't my passion because I'm particularly good at it (I think I'm terribly mediocre tbh), but I know it's passion when every second I spend fighting for it feels worthwhile.

I count myself very lucky to have found something that brings me so much pain and joy at the same time, yknow? When I'm onstage I feel like I know what Whitman means when he says he contains multitudes. At once the atoms in my body are like dissipating sparks, everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I guess this is how it feels to truly be alive.

On other passions

At the end of last year I decided to be more committed to writing in 2015. Unlike dance, writing is a considerably new interest to me. I wrote little limericks and lame rhyming poetry about sad girls back in secondary school, but it was really in creative writing class back in poly that I realised, hey! I actually like doing this.

During another creative writing module under Yong Shu Hoong last year it suddenly occurred to me that I could possibly make something out of this if I didn't stop writing... that maybe I could one day stop feeling that I suck at it. So I decided that this year I'd write and find the courage to submit.

It doesn't really matter if my poems don't go anywhere this year... all I want to do is write more, fail more, learn more. Last month alone I missed 3 submissions for competitions and journals that I'd intended to meet, but I did manage to make the application for Burn After Reading SG, a local writing community for young writers based on the larger international collective of the same name and vision. I sent in two very humble poems and the team contacted me, saying they'd like to meet a bunch of us at the end of this week with our favourite book/poem as part of their shortlisting process. I can't even begin to describe how huge this is for me, even if I might not make the cut in the end. Sent in my email not expecting much, but here it is! The first step in many to come, hopefully.

Of course, being the procrastinator and over-thinker that I am, I haven't decided what to bring. In literature there is a fine line between being earnest and pretentious, and I would much rather be the former. Truth be told the basic bitch inside me knows that Harry Potter will always be my favourite work of literature, but alas, earwax. (5 points to jiahan for the HP reference/ oops I did it again/ minus 5 points for the britney reference). I probably be bringing something else this Saturday, maybe even a children's book. We'll see.